A Candle in the dark

I always look forward to the winter solstice. Living with chronic depression is harder when I don’t see the sun because it’s dark when I drive to work and dark when I drive home from work. But once again, we have made it through the longest night of the year, which doesn’t necessarily have any connection with the dark night of the soul. Solstice slipped by me with barely a nod to my pagan sisters.

In my home, we celebrated Christmas with gifts, be they thoughtful, silly, useful or desired; and food answering the emotional longings of different people around the table. Roasted turkey for one, pearl onions for another, stuffing (in and out of the bird). (Mea culpa, I forgot the mashed potatoes! But at least I didn’t have to blow the rolls out this year!) We spoke of those not able to be with us in person, lifting up their health and hearts with a promise to bring some Christmas to them when they are ready to receive it. We honored those who will never be with us in person again, with tears and laughter and happy memories.

When no one else was around, I honored Hanukkah. Singing the phrases along with my “Bare Naked for the Holidays” album. Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tsivanu l’hadlik ner shel Hanukkah. (.ברוך אתה יי, אלוהינו מלך העולם, אשר קידשנו במצוותיו, וציוונו להדליק נר של חנוכה). How lucky are we to be able to celebrate a light in the dark.

This year has seemed to be full of “the dark” more than I remember in past years recently. Probably because of the politics here in the good ol’ US of A and interpersonal politics at my day job. I have spent untold hours listening to people hurting from unkind words, unjust rules and justice repealed. I confessed to friends that I “scroll past” their political posts on social media, because I just can’t look at another ranting meme. The faces of my friends superimposed over the actions of this president wound me more than an insulting joke or picture can heal. (Although sometimes a band of chipmunks playing a snazzy jazz tune or a cute kitten video helps.)

And then there are the floods and fires. And no, they were not caused by g-d’s wrath towards the LBGTQ movement, thank you very much. I was reminded of a fire 24 years ago: I was 8 months pregnant and helped friends shovel debris off of the foundation of their house. Inviting them to share Christmas with us, co-mingling traditions again. And I am reminded again of why we celebrate.

We celebrate the love we share with one another. The little things like a smile passing in the hall, the big things like taking care of someone after surgery. Of unexpected gifts, and heart-full hugs. Our presence in hearing some one’s aching story of betrayal. The joy in a healthy birth or the colorblind man seeing true colors for the first time.

These are our candles in the dark, lighting the way when we might otherwise be overwhelmed by daily noise and strife. If you are with me when we turn the calendar page to 2019, we’ll play some silly games, light some more candles, sing Auld Lang Syne, and share our mitzvos. Because we all need more light and love.

So just as the physical nights are getting shorter now, may your dark nights of the soul be relieved by the love you give and receive. Blessings abound!

 

Mother's Day 2013

Hey Mom, hope you and Grandma are having a smashing good time together. You both died too young and are missed greatly here. Just wanted to give you an update on the family.

Your grandson is maturing into a lovely, thoughtful, caring and compassionate young man. Yes, he’s a slob (gosh, wonder where he got that gene?), but he knows how to clean the kitchen and living room. I usually ignore his bedroom and he ignores mine – it works for us. He’s got his own rock and roll band and plays drums and saxophone and sings in an acoustic punk-folk band. When he isn’t playing or practicing (or playing video games with the guys) he’s studying pre-law at the local community college. He likes his studies and seems to be doing well.

He reaches out to his cousins on a semi-regular basis, and tries to maintain ties to his dad’s side of the family, and to his uncle Paco. He had a long-term relationship with a very nice girl, but that ended a few months ago. After some quiet days and nights, he seems to have recovered. Just as he recovered from that horrible skateboarding accident last December (he wouldn’t be my son without the ER visits, would he?).

I’m still selling insurance and trying to figure out what I’m going to do when I grow up—Ministry is still the top runner if I can retire in the next couple of years from the financial industry. I’ve been participating in a dream group, knitting up a storm and working at the So Cal Renaissance Faire. Oh yeah, and riding my motorcycle in the local mountains. Last year I went on vacation with Jean and with Jeanette.

Your teachings have kept me on a good path:
1. Walk quickly and wear loud clothing. I may have to start sewing again to feed my need for unique clothing, but that’s OK – I’m almost ready to bring your machines and fabric out of the closets (and from under the bed and out of the hall library, etc.).
2. Be nice to the underlings as they can make your life heaven or hell. Yep.
3. Work hard, play harder. I forgot that for a while, but seem to be making up for it these days.
4. Save for a rainy day. You never know when the next ER visit looms, either for your kid or your car or your cat.
5. Don’t hit your brother or your kid or your cat. Ever. I refined this to “Don’t touch another in anger.” Ever.
6. If you’ve been crying every day for a while, go see a doctor. Still working on this one, but getting better.
7. Listen to the advice you give others and apply it to your own situation. Ouch.
8. Hug first. Hard words are easier to say when snuggling.
9. Leave the office at work at the end of the day.
10. Sing lustily.
11. Encourage creativity.

I’m sure there are more, but these are what come to mind as I think of this Mothers’ Day. I hope your grandson remembers to gift me somehow. I reminded him last week that the day was coming. I miss you.

One reason for a UU Easter celebration

Unitarian Universalists are often accused of ignoring thorny (yes, an Easter-week pun) theological questions. Those of us who seek professional ministerial standing must be able to answer these and defend our answers to the credentialing committees. I will confess that it is difficult to find discussion partners that don’t rely solely on the Bible since I graduated seminary. (And because I attended a Methodist seminary, it was sometimes difficult to find those discussion partners there.) But in order to be theologically sound, we must find our answers to questions such as “What is sin?” and “What is reconciliation?”

And this time of year, one has to wonder why does a UU celebrate Easter? What are we really celebrating? A friend shared this with me in her email recently:

"I asked God if it was okay to be melodramatic/and she said yes
I asked her if it was okay to be short/and she said it sure is
I asked her if I could wear nail polish/or not wear nail polish
and she said honey - she calls me that sometimes
she said you can do just exactly/what you want to
Thanks God I said
And is it even okay if I don't paragraph/my letters
Sweetcakes God said - who knows where she picked that up
what I'm telling you is/Yes Yes Yes"
"God Says Yes To Me" by Kaylin Haught, from The Palm of Your Hand

In the way of serendipity, that was in my head while, in response to a Trinitarian challenge to Universalist thought, I responded today with the following:

"Not identifying as a Christian, I approach theological questions from a systematic point of view. The version of Christianity that seems most logical to me would be a version of process theology wherein sin would be that which alienates or breaks relationship and all-that-is is ever desirous of closer connection with all entities. This then would be a "universalist" view, as an entity can never be separated from all-that-is.

Admittedly, I am not Trinitarian nor Christian as most Christians would define it. I encourage respectful exploration. Thanks for inviting me to deeper thought today. Blessings to you and your readers."

I don’t talk to any being that might be identified as a god/God/Goddess, nor does that type of entity speak to me (that I am aware of). However, I do believe in being in right relation with others and the world and the universe. This ties in with my definition of sin, above. Reconciliation then comes as a result of improving relationships.

If Easter is, in the Christian Church, a celebration of reconciliation with God, then I, as a good non-Christian Unitarian Universalist, can celebrate a day dedicated to improving relationships with the world and my kith, kin and others. In fact, this is why I participate in Communion at churches with an “open table,” such as that celebrated by my dear friend Mary Jo at All Peoples Christian Church. Anything that promotes peace between living beings is worthy of celebrating in as many ways as we can.

May your celebrations bring you peace and joy, in whatever form they take.